I’m not even sure why I watched this again — insomnia, I think, but also I often need to prove my opinions, if only to myself — but being able to minimize it into a corner of my screen certainly allowed me to bypass scenes that I found awfully boring and familiar when I saw it in a theater. (I was treating some friends of mine who were very kind to me.)

I still think the only facet I found consistently watchable was John Boyega’s charming and energetic performance (and, come out already!), but the rest of it? It seemed even more craven the second time around. Despite the easy nods to the modern world in the “diverse” casting, and the cheap Poe/Finn tease, how imaginative is it really to simply re-shoot a mildly entertaining 38-year-old movie made for teenage boys with low self-esteem and authoritarian impulses, and pretend-yet-not-pretend that it’s all brand-new and exciting?

That’s pandering on a galactic scale.

Dear fanboys/girls: Star Wars is NEVER going to have a gay romance, and I’m not sure you should want it to.

PS: Attack the Block is about a billion times better in every way than this piece of space schmaltz.